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Neil Fulwood
Neil Fulwood

Neil Fulwood is the author of 'The Films of Sam Peckinpah' and runs film review blog Agitation of the Mind. He’s a member of the Alan Sillitoe Committee, who are raising funds towards a permanent memorial to be sited in Alan’s home town of Nottingham, UK. Neil co-designed their website -

Photo: Sitting at Alan Sillitoe's desk.

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Neil Fulwood Poetry

My Paperweight Destiny



Call it a requirement of the job -


a reverse Stockholm Syndrome,

a mechanism for keeping apart

the day-to-day and the inevitable;


call it the choice between flippancy

and despair, a raised middle finger

to the angel of death. That moment


of inappropriate laughter. Today,

just one hyperlink askance

from actual work, it's a website


selling remembrance products

that tips the office into hysterics:

the oversize font and colour scheme


that couldn't be more unsuited

to purpose; product descriptions

in prose so purple it probably merits


a Pantone number all of its own.

And the products themselves:

sun-catchers, phoenix stones,


jewellery infused with cremation ashes.

There's a glowing endorsement

from the family of an American


whose ashes were packed in a bullet

and fired - at what or whom

remains unreferenced. Someone


mentions Hunter S. Thompson,

his remains shot from a cannon.

Gram Parsons' coffin was hijacked


and driven hellbent to the desert,

a fireball at the Joshua Tree.

That's when we realise being British


is boring. Our respective urns

blasted across Nottingham?

A Viking ship in flames on the Trent?


- Yeah, like that's going to happen!

Laughter fades as we accept it:

death will come as a paperweight,


holding in place what we didn't finish.





Hail to the Chief



Hail to the team leader

Hail to the supervisor

Hail to the manager

Hail to the boss


Hail to the scourge

Of bad timekeeping

Hail the god emperor

Of the early swerve


Hail to the clamourer

For responsibility

Hail to the dodger

Of escalated problems


Hail to the judgementalist

Who conducts appraisals

All hail the office’s

Moodiest fucker


Hail to the cynic

Who questions sick leave

Hail the opportunist

Working from home


Hail to the networker

Grapevining departments

Hail to the bully

Demotivating staff


Hail to the backstabber

Hail to the profile-shower

Hail the boardroom sycophant

Hail, O hail to the chief


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